Try talking to her about school, your friends, what you’re feeling, etc. Ask her to go to the mall, the movies, for a walk, etc.
If you get a good grade, be sure to show her! If you’re not doing well in school, show her how hard you’re trying by doing your homework where she can see you, or by signing up for tutoring.
Letting your industriousness surprise your mom is better than telling her how great you are for doing your chores. Let her find out on her own. Go above and beyond. If your mom asks you to do something, do it – and more. For instance, if she asks you to tidy your room, vacuum it, too. This shows how you’re taking initiative, and she’ll appreciate that.
Be polite and say “Please” and “Thank you. " Don’t get into fights at school. Respect your mom’s friends by listening to them when they speak and politely engaging them in small talk.
Ease into your appeal by phrasing it with words like, “I was wondering if. . . " or “Would you consider letting me go to. . . " Don’t be blunt and phrase it like “Mom, I want to go to. . . " Make sure your mom is in a good mood when you approach her. If she’s in a bad mood, wait until it subsides, or do something nice to make her happy – but do it out of care, not manipulation. [4] X Research source Include all the details about where you want to go: who will be there, how long you’ll be there, how you’re getting there and home. The more you can offer in terms of details, the more comfortable your mom will feel about it. Remember to keep the drama to a minimum: once you’ve lost your cool and are shouting, your chances of success are minimal. [5] X Research source
For example: if you want to go to the mall, you can bring up the time when you two went together, how fun that was, how your friends are thinking of going, and how you’d like to go again. Another example: if you want to go over to your friend’s house, you can mention that your friend brought up the possibility of hanging out later in the week, and that she/he was going to ask her/his parents. See what your mom says, but don’t state it as though you’re presuming you will be able to go. If you just can’t help yourself, and you do ask if you can go, don’t push for an answer if your mom is hesitant. Let her think about it. [9] X Research source Not being insistent and stubborn is a sign of maturity, and your mom will notice this.
Although it involves some extra work, creating a PowerPoint presentation or an informational sheet about where you want to go will impress your mom and show her that you’ve really thought this through. [11] X Research source If you make an informational sheet, leave it where your mom can find it and read it on her own time. [12] X Research source
In your letter, be sure to address your mom’s concern for your personal safety, as this will be one of her reasons to say no. Make the tone of your letter loving and earnest: tugging at your mom’s heartstrings too much might make her feel manipulated. Include lots of details about the circumstances of why and where you want to go. If you leave no questions in her mind, then she’s likely to feel more comfortable with letting you go. [13] X Research source
Make sure that you can and will follow through with whatever you bargain with. If you don’t, then you’ll lose your mom’s trust. An example way of phrasing your bargain is, “Mom, now that I’m [xx] years old, I was hoping you could begin trusting me with my responsibilities and independence by assigning me other roles around the house, and perhaps letting me go places, such as [yy] this week. " Another example of phrasing your bargain is, “Mom, now that I’m older, I was hoping you’d trust me to go places, such as [yy] this week, and in exchange for your trust I’d start taking on more responsibilities around the house. " When coming up with bargaining ideas, consider all that your mom has to do every day. Taking some of the load may be appreciated and considered thoughtful.
An example way of responding to a “No” is, “May I ask why you don’t want me to go?” If your mom pulls the ol’ “Because I said so” card, don’t flip out. If she’s pulling that card, it’s because she hasn’t got a good reason. Give her more time to think.
An example way of responding to a “Yes” is, “Thank you so much, mom, it means a lot that you trust me enough to go to [yy]. " An example way of responding to a “No” is, “I understand. I appreciate your concern for my safety. "
