The no contact period is typically 21, 30, or 45 days. Whatever period you choose, you must stick to the plan. No contact will give both of you time to heal and also give your ex-girlfriend time to miss you. If the relationship ended badly, this period will allow both of you to cool off and work through any negative feelings. [2] X Research source
If you need to unfriend or block your ex-girlfriend on social media, then you should. You do not have to let your ex-girlfriend know that you are taking these steps. Do not post how sad or depressed you are about the breakup either.
It may be helpful to write a pros and cons list down on a piece of paper. This will also help you think about the relationship.
It’s also fine if you do not feel like going out a lot or being social. Do whatever you need to do to heal from the relationship such as meditating, journaling, or spending time alone watching movies. If there are personality traits or issues that you had in the relationship such as anger, jealousy, insecurity, taking her for granted, or being controlling begin to work on those things. Seek professional help if you need to. Write down the type of man you want to be and begin to work on each of those things.
Do your best to keep the details of your relationship private. Refrain from posting about your relationship on social media as well. This includes, subliminal messages such as song lyrics, music videos, or quotes.
If you send a text message, try to say something that starts a conversation, is flirty in nature, and does not bring up anything negative. Try texting, “Hey, I was watching X on TV and I it made me think of you :)” You could also text them about a good memory that you guys made together. For example, “Remember when we went to that great restaurant. . " Your initial contact should not mention getting back together or that you miss her or you love her. [6] X Research source
This can be done in person or on the phone. It is better not to have long or emotional conversations through text messaging.
If she is reluctant, you might say, “It’s only coffee. What would it hurt?” If she does not want to meet up with you, do not push the issue. Give her space. Tell her, “I respect that you don’t want to meet up, let me know if you change your mind. It would be great to see you. "
Although you want to impress her, do not be needy or beg her to be with you again. This will only make you look insecure or weak. You want her to take you back because you are a great guy not because she feels sorry for you. [10] X Research source Do not say things like, “I can’t live without you. "
Focus on building new memories with her. She needs to see how things will be different this time around.
Do not text or call everyday. Go out on dates and do activities together. Learn her likes, dislikes, and habits again. Hold off on the physical aspect of the relationship and spend more time talking.
If she has a new boyfriend, be respectful of her new relationship. Do not try to get her to break up with her new boyfriend. Be patient and see if her new relationship is serious or just a rebound.
