If you want to be more spontaneous and conversational, jot down the major talking points to jog your memory and keep your speech moving forward in a casual manner. Include short quotes or key phrases like “Talk about meeting the bride for the first time, mention how comfortable they were with each other. " The idea is for the note to jog your memory, but the actual wording should be off the top of your head, provided you follow the next step. If the idea of going freestyle freaks you out, write it out word for word and take special care to bring yourself back to the audience. Script out everything, down to the gestures, pauses, and glances up. Don’t give yourself any chance to mess up. Practice to make sure your speech isn’t robotic. Feel free to show your draft to the couple ahead of time. This way, they can let you know if they’d like you to leave something out, like an embarrassing story. [2] X Expert Source Ivy SummerCertified Wedding & Event Planner Expert Interview. 17 August 2021.
If you’re writing out your speech word-for-word, keep the speech big enough so that you’ll be able to read it easily. Don’t cram everything onto one card. Still, it’s important to keep your cards manageable, so aim to have no more than three or four cards. Number your cards to make sure they’re in order. If you’re writing out your major speech points only, write them clearly and concisely. You should know your own shorthand: make sure that you don’t write “Talk about that party” on a card and go blank in the moment.
Do not write a long speech. A whole wedding ceremony is sometimes as short as 15 or 20 minutes. There’s no reason you should give a toast that goes for more than five. Modify your index cards as needed. If you find yourself rushing during one part of the speech, write “slow down” somewhere on the card where you’ll see it. If you repeatedly stumble over one part, just skip it. If something isn’t working, go with something else. If you’re very nervous about the speech, try to imagine where the audience is sitting, for example, and pretend to make gestures and eye contact in that direction. If you practice, it’ll be automatic in the moment.
Start by brainstorming different anecdotes, stories, or themes that your speech might take on. What do you think of immediately when you think of your friend or relative who is getting married? What do you want to say about your friend? What do you want to emphasize? Start thinking of the major ideas that you’d like to include in your speech. What’s important about this union of two people? Alternatively, don’t worry about themes or abstract concepts and just start writing. Put pen to paper and free-write about the person who you’re toasting. Aim to write for 10 minutes without stopping. Just keep your pencil moving. See what comes up.
You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian. A humorous quote or story can add a nice touch, just keep it tasteful. Anecdotes that involve nakedness, drunkenness, or ex-significant others could make the moment awkward if the story falls flat. Err on the side of sincerity. [10] X Expert Source Ivy SummerCertified Wedding & Event Planner Expert Interview. 17 August 2021.
To do a double-check, count up all the uses of “I” in your speech and all the uses of the newlyweds’ names. If you show up more than them, you might need to revise the speech. Speeches that dwell on how difficult marriage is, however realistic, can make it sound like the couple is doomed to fail. It’s usually best to avoid cold or intellectual speeches. Just go for sincere emotion. Treat the bride and groom as a single unit, even if you’ve known only one of them for a long time. Also, remember, you’re not toasting to the “good old days,” you’re toasting to their future.
Start your toast with a story about a challenge the couple faced together, or how one member of the couple used the other for support in a time of need. Start your toast with observations about the way a member of the couple has changed since they started seeing each other. When you’re old and gray, what will you remember most about the couple? What one thing will you think of? Start your toast by celebrating an unheralded character trait in one or both members of the couple. If the groom is an astrophysicist, but you’ve seen him do something no one else has, consider starting there. Keep it clean.
The father of the bride or an old friend of the family will toast the couple. The groom will toast the bridesmaids. The best man will toast the parents of the couple.
If you find yourself in an emergency situation, in which you feel you must throw out your speech, make sure you have something to back it up with. It wouldn’t be inappropriate to go super-short but sincere, saying something like, “There’s nothing to me more thrilling than seeing these two people commit to each other for the rest of their life. Before I get choked up, I’m going to leave it at that. "
In some cultures, it’s important to make sure that all glasses are filled before giving the toast. Look around and check that all glasses (including yours) are full before making the toast. There should be wine, champagne, or something that looks like wine or champagne in your glass, as toasting with water is offensive in some cultures.
If you find yourself talking quickly, which happens to some people due to nerves, make a conscious effort to slow down. Pause between your sentences and take a breath. Look up, take a sip of your drink, and slow down. Speak clearly and get through it. Then, cheers.
